~Damaged Goods~
The majestic peaks…
keepers of many secrets and answers.
Their most valuable treasure hidden amongst thousands of pages…
surrounded by epic stories of valiant nights protecting rich gold and rupees.
Pages of tragedy so deep…
the missing heart of Romeo completely dark the evening he slept.
knowing only in his dreams would he ever kiss Juliet once again.
My souls have been wandering now for what seems eternity…
in sand…
up mountains…
over seas.
Carrying me in a search of self…
and in that search a secret has briefly slivered through.
Painted with oils on a lost canvas my heart runs red…
red with hurt…
red with un-given love…
red with laughter at the universal joke.
A joke so dark I went lost in blackness…
blindly grasping with outstretched palms.
I ask if there is divine presence.
why she dangled that treasure so closely in front of my eyes?
Easily within the grasp of my hands…
yet did not give me the strength to use my muscles.
My hands, fingers, arms - frozen with fear
…and when they thawed she was gone.
A treasure with the value of countless rupees… or none.
a treasure and gift with more value than the breath within my lungs.
Lost forever into the void.
an abyss with depth I cannot comprehend…
an abyss that stirred a loneliness welcoming of one last ultimate breath.
Within these foreign lands friendly smiles and laughter filled my lungs with a new breath…
a deeper breath than I had ever known before the lights went dark.
My senses alive with electricity….
so starved….
so dry…
thirsting for warm and welcoming light.
The northern lights bathed the mountains of my home in a brilliant glow.
a lighthouse and compass guiding my soul to it’s true north.
I drifted with Santiago through the parched sands of the sahara…
sleeping under million star hotels…
and dreaming with my eyes wide open.
All to find a dirt road…
a road less traveled…
a road just wide enough to guide the tires of my dear friend Gretta and I.
A road long and circular as the orbits of our universe.
a magnificent wheel that rolls once again to it’s beginning.
a different beginning.
a new path to roam.
I have begun this new odyssey…
and even in times of night.
when darkness should be settling over like a heavy blanket…
the path has been illuminated at times from within.
At other times six blue moons have led the way.
a scene so frequent in this movie of my life.
dripping with the blur of my eyes, my emotions keen to the core.
I find myself sitting in a car…
a cold and late night…
listening to voices of music that remind me of love I once held.
I wait to dance with that love, yet the passenger seat next to me is empty.
with nothing to hold in my arms the cold of the night creeps slowly back into my bones.
I sit on this road with no destination in mind…
only an eternal journey riveted with bumps and infinite bliss.
As Alexander Supertramp concluded while attempting to escape the wild…
the journey is best shared.
Holding the hand of a friend…
as the sun goes sinking into the horizon –
time and time again on this adventure.
A treasure to wrap your arms around as the fire goes crackling into the night…
the embers burning pure as the stars fall into the sky.
An ear to listen, a shoulder to cry upon, a hand to dance with, lips to taste –
eyes to marvel upon shared sunsets…
and ten other toes to wake up with under the sheets.
Now as the words are on verge of coming to close…
I sometimes feel anxious.
As thought I need to organize the right words in the right way…
a final phrase that pulls together all emotions involved.
all thoughts concluded.
an epiphany of profound proportions.
Yet it is now I realize there is no end.
no beginning.
only this journey that is eternally present…
abundantly beautiful.
The ocean’s tides rise and fall just as the breath within our chest.
as my favorite jeans are nothing more than a collection of patches stitched together…
barely any original material existing.
My heart is damaged goods…
existing of nothing more than a quilt of patches collected along the way.
A strong quilt stitched together with experience…
a heart that knows the value of unconditional warmth.
If you are ever feeling cold on a lonely night –
my blanket is here for you to share.
posted by wanderfoot at 3:13 PM
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2 Comments:
That was a beautiful poem. It warmed my heart and intrigued my mind. Thanks for sharing
Wow Josh. That was true poetry. And I don't mean that in a poetry analysis kind of way but coming from someone who used to hate poetry. I was bored to tears reading about how to interpert and being told what was happening in them. Then, one day, perhaps 10 years ago or so, I finally came to learn what poetry was.
I had just finished watching Dead Poets Society and felt so deeply that I wanted to write in my journal as usual. But then something came over me and I decided not to conform...I allowed my hand to take over and write without thinking, a free association of sorts and oh what came out of me was so deep. I was practically shaking and when I read over what I wrote, it was the first time in my life that what I wrote captured every single thought and emotion I felt at the time (where as I would normally have one word for every 100 thoughts). I was completely blown away!
And so, when I read your poem, I can see that. You completely let go and shared your deepest self.
And I remember feeling like I was in a similar place...not that I'm saying I have a right to say what you are feeling, but I feel recognize a lot in some poems I have written.
Another thing I learned about true poetry is that no one can truly understand it but you. You can share and trigger individual feelings in others, but no one has the right to interpert.
Perhaps I should share my poem(s) in my own blog. I'll let you know if I do.
Keep looking at the brigter side of life.
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